A Dowager Reflects Kindly

Carrie Chang

Something I should say to mommy,

I am not emotional enough,

I should keep her jade rings

singing, and eat all

The roast boeuf boeuf,

Something I should say

About the old days, about

The house in the dust court,

Where rainbows visited highways

And nostalgia was retort,

And sister’s Klee’s a sentimental

Head of privilege that’s a tessellated

Turf, and father just a ray of light

That’s a superannuated nerd,

Why fight the Chinglish

Seeping into your overbite,

And the things you’ve overheard?

Those days before karma made

A Froddo out of everyone

And we ate mac and cheese

Instead of cha-sui buns,

one Summer I peered into the mirror

And thought I looked

Like the dowager, chilled,

Never knowing I resembled

You sideways, but that

Was before I got damn

Ill, speaking of it now

Makes me giddy, it

Wasn’t always that fun

Or escapist, kiddie